Spa Treatments

Let us help you relax! Book one of our best-in-class Clown Massage treatments today. We offer The Clown Massage (the one that set the standard internationally) as well as a variety of other clown-based healing modalities in a warm, inviting environment. Don’t be silly: our CCMs are held to the highest ethical clown standards. All services are strictly non-sexual under no circumstances.

We book appointments four weeks in advance, and new slots open up weekly on Tuesdays at 6:29 AM ET.
Feel free to call to join our waitlist.

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The Clown Massage

The Clown Massage that set the standard - deep relaxation, long silly strokes, giggles and possible flatulence.

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4-Clown Hand Luxe Pamper

Two Clowns, Four Clown hands - double the pleasure.

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Scream, Tummy Tickle, Laugh

Krusty’s signature technique for deep traumatic healing - diaper required.

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Joeky Reiki Bakey

Hands off intense energy healing involving cannabis ingestion (joint) and Joeky’s best dad clown jokes to relieve tension.

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Tickle The Turkey’s Suck-A-Tick

A favorite treatment amongst gardeners, golfers, hikers and other outdoor adventurers, Tickle the Turkey will suck your tick, or ticks. Lie back and let Tickle go to town and feel the intense pleasure of Tickle’s gentle pecks and sucks.

Please remember, East Hampton Clown Massage’s strict policy: all treatments are non-sexual under no circumstances.

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“I can’t go a week without a treatment! Joeky’s clown hands should be dipped in gold and immortalized! Oh, and don’t tell anyone I said it, but their skincare line is unbeatable.”

Gyweneth P., a former actress and now beauty entrepreneur